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Don’t feel not-unhappy

Don’t feel not-unhappy published on

Today I received the most depressive answer of the last times: “I’m not unhappy”.
The last time I had that feeling I was driving home from the hospital, still hoping to see my father alive, and even with this hope, my first impulse was to take advantage I was driving at late night to commit an idiocy and become free of that painful feeling. I did not, and I will never do it.

With the years, I’ve become used from be “happy with few unhappy times” to be “not happy with (each time more frequently) some happy times”.

But “I’m not unhappy” sounds to “I’m not happy, but I’ve become used to not to be it”.

This writing is not dedicated to who gave me that answer, it’s dedicated to Ares, for when she’ll be older. And if who gave me that answer can learn from it, better for all.

Beu, viu, seu, riu,
fés sorgir un sentir joliu,
canta i balla, surt del niu
abans que torni l’estiu.

Drink, live, sit, laugh,
grow in you a happy feeling,
sing, dance, be out of,
because the summer is coming./

Anything, but don’t sit down seeing how the happiness leaves, fearing to try to cath it, and change the “not unhappy” for “unhappy”.
The risk worth it.

Hey, and if you need help, you have a lot of friends around you. And a big family who will hug you everytime you’ll need it.

I wish you will not be “not unhappy”, but if you feel it someday and I’m still around, just call me and I’ll leave anything to come here and give you one of those big hugs you hate, my little stubborn.

Don’t have a good death (bad sonet)

Don’t have a good death (bad sonet) published on

Cuando abrazado a la parca (por amor herida)
en ataúd tu cuerpo yazca de tal suerte,
que nadie diga que tuviste buena muerte,
que sepamos todos que tuviste buena vida.

Cuando la carne de tus huesos sea despedida,
y cuando no vayamos ya a volver a verte,
que sepamos que en tu madurez seguiste fuerte;
madurez, que no vejez ni juventud perdida.

Sea este mal verso de esperanza un canto,
sea un buen abrazo, una fuerte risa,
un ligero beso, una sonrisa,

Sea lo que sea, que no sea un llanto,
sea una canción: ligera, sin prisa,
cantada en el campo, pero nunca en misa.

(I cannot make a proper rhyme)
/ When bracind the Death (by Love wounded)
in a coffin your body will lie,
that you had a good dead they will not say,
make us know a good live you lived.

When the meat from your bones will be ripped,
and we will not see you again
let us know you get the strength
in your old age, not in your young age wasted.

Let make this bad verse a chant of hope,
make it a good hug, a loudy laugh,
a light kiss, a big smile.

Make this anything but a cry,
make it a quiet song: taught,
sung at the field, and not in mass./

I would like to be a blackbird to be able to sing my feelings

I would like to be a blackbird to be able to sing my feelings published on

I would like to be a blackbird to be able to sing my feelings.

Gods made it black because they though unfair to let it have colour in its feathers too, but the sound that flows from its beak fights the black and puts a point of colour in the eyes of those who hear it song.

Every smile…

Every smile… published on

Every smile, every joke, every “look of complicity” (automatic translator alert), each one of those things we shared, we share and we will share it’s a way to tell I love you. I will not be able to tell it to you, because it seems some sort of social mistake. I will not be able to tell it to you because maybe you are a guy, and we guys don’t tell us those things. I will not be able to tell it to you because you are a girl, and it will seem I’m looking for more. I will not be able to tell it to you because I don’t speak your language very well, and I can be wrong.
Today a friend has left us.
And as it happen with my father, I’ve not been able to tell her I love her. And I want not to repeat it. Then, if sometime I smiled at you, I joked with you, or anyone of those things you know I made because I like you, I did it because I loved you. Because I love you. Because I wish I will be able to love you forever, although we can discuss, or never see us, or stop talking us.

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