I’m awake. I don’t know where am I. I don’t recognize the room, the furniture, anything. I don’t recognize myself. At my side, over the nightstand, an envelope, with four big letters: “read”. I don’t recognize the handwriting. I read.
They told my I have a brain tumor. The only threatment is major surgery, but they found it in the memory zone and, if I get surgery, my ability to remember will be affected.
I must choose between two deaths. The true death, the oblivion. Or the oblibion, the false death, the death of the mind and not the body’s. To face the last destiny or to postpone it. To postpone it? No, because, who will I be without memories? You.
If you are reading this is because I decided the oblivion. Now you are awake, and you don’t know who are you, what do you know. Maybe you cannot even to read these letters. But they say no, they say that only the memories will fade, and not the skills I will lose (you will lose) after this (before this).
You are facing a new day. In fact, you are facing a new life. A life that will last until you will sleep. Once you’ll become slept, your memories will fly away and, again, you will be yourself no more.
I know you will be tempted to life on the edge. If you have only a day to life, why to waste it? If you will die this night, why not to take risks? Hard feelings, extreme feelings, brutal feelings. Things that will make you fear for your life. Or not, because you know you will die when you’ll become slept.
Don’t waste this life, because it’s not yours. It’s mine, and I don’t give it to you, I lean it to you. I lean it to let you life it, because I will not be able to do it. But, when you’ll had lived it, don’t waste it, save it. Preserve it for tomorrow, because a new you (a new me) will be awake, will read these letters and will live another day as if it’ll be a new life, a new life of a single day.
Love, hug, laugh, smile, kiss. Don’t hide yourself, don’t worry about the others’ thoughts, just be worried for them. Don’t waste the time thinking what can you do in this life, in this day. Do it.
In fact, what’s the difference between your life and the others’? Lenght. You will live a day, and they will live lots. But you know you will live a day. They, believing they will be alive forever, will waste this day (this life) worrying, without laughs, kisses, loves, hugs, smiles. You will have no memories, but maybe they will have no life.
How many times I’ve read these letters? How many days of my life, how many lives had I wasted without following their advice?
Today is the first day of my life. Today is my life. Today I’ll live. I’m lucky.